posted on wordpress 1/25/14

Fallen Angels (1998)

I know it’s been a while since I’ve last updated. I intended to post about Antoine et Colette next then I got sidetracked watching Central Park Five and let everything fall back. I created this blog because my aunt mentioned to me it’s a good thing to begin and I could do with some responsibility. However, life really does get in the way. I’ve been dealing with intense personal things for a long time and everything becomes mood-dependent and sometimes I can’t update even though that’s what I should do. Or want to do.

I realized I never talked about Fallen Angels. I mean I know I don’t really do many reviews; one of the reasons being that I have a hard time talking about anything let alone art. I hate talking about the, uh, art that I’ve made and how something has made me feel. I’m not a particularly gifted or graceful writer which is definitely even reflected in my speech. I think that my own self-doubt and lack of confidence seeps into even the simplest tasks of explaining my feelings especially in regards to art. I say “um”, “I don’t know”, “like”, etc which if I had the time or the patience I could also tie into (imagine this said sarcastically, because I am even embarrassed to write this) behavioral conditions growing up as a woman but I digress…

I love Fallen Angels. I have a short attention span so when I watch movies it can be a bit difficult. I want to be doing several things at once when a movie (or a show etc) needs my attention. Especially a foreign film because I do not speak the language. I have a hard time making up my mind and forming my own decisions because I’m not sure if they are correct, even if they are my own. I look for approval in the ways people feel then I realize that’s absurd and try to map out my own. I change my feelings about a piece of art, particularly movies, constantly.

You know what I love? Finding that one piece of something in whatever you have seen, heard, felt, and so on and holding on to it. I think we can all understand this especially in relation to music. There’s that one part where it just clicks for you, or that stunning lyric, that high-note that you can’t forget. Sometimes I find that and don’t like the piece as a whole.

After a movie is done I need time–I think most people–do to process it. Sometimes I never want to see a movie again even if I like it or sometimes I need to see it again. I can never forget about it. Even if I hate it!

The reason I love films and would like to be a part of them is because there are those moments but visually and narratively and I love the feeling of never being able to forget it. Never letting people forget. I want people to remember what I have to say, to listen, and to never forget.

That’s how Fallen Angels makes me feel. There are tons of technical terms used to describe this movie and a lot of Won Kar Wai’s work and I think a lot of times they are put into a western film perspective (some of which I’ve heard he’s imitating us) which isn’t something I would know all about because I am not a critic but I’m not sure I feel comfortable saying. Regardless, I base how much I love something on feelings not technicalities because I am not an expert.

I love the assassin/spy/espionage trope. When I was little I would write about spies on my mom’s shitty Dell laptop and the stories were so atrocious but that’s what I loved writing about. I love exploring the idea of isolation and romance in such a melancholy tone in conjunction to the lonely life of a person who is constantly on the run by choice and by profession.

For me the women in WKW’s films can be a bit much and as someone who has spent a big chunk of her life battling internalized misogyny and trying to make up for it, I end up loving them. Carina Lau’s character in Days of Being Wild drove me nuts just like Blondie in Fallen Angels but I think that loads of women can relate to being desperate and begging for a man’s love that they can’t receive. Not that I enjoy this and don’t find it problematic because boy I do but I enjoy the shamelessness in that fact.

Now, the killer’s agent (Michelle Reis) was the opposite. She was aloof, all legs (I mean this in the non-creepiest way possible), flitting in and out to suss out places for her assassin’s hits, leave him instructions, and clean up after him. She is definitely a little crazy but she looks really fucking cool. The way she missed Wong Chi-Min and got to know him through garbage–which BTW is disgusting–really struck a cord with me. Who wouldn’t want to clean up the messes of someone they were infatuated with (but had never met) listening to music in heels, fishnets, a PVC dress, and a cigarette?

And the object of her infatuation, Wong Chi Ming, was cool too (evidenced by every assassin scene the “Because I’m Cool” song would play.) Typically, I hate men like his characters. They are in movies, anime, tv shows and perhaps in longer format or a different way of storytelling I would hate him too but we are kept at such a distance from him that it’s okay to indulge into his coolness a little. Leon Lai is a dreamboat.

He was all sharp angles and very diligent. He was a bloody mess and it was fun to be able to see the part of his job, of him looking for connections but not too deep, and perhaps trying to find a life worth living.

In that same way I got to He Zhiwu who I think, next to Reis’ character, was probably my favorite character and had my favorite storyline. He was mute and that would stunt a lot of people’s understanding of him but his stories and Takeshi Kaneshiro’s acting were very endearing (albeit violent.) His connection to his father was probably one of my favorite things about the movie. At first you’re not sure of what type of relationship they have but you realize it’s a deep and literally unspoken bond. Zhiwu’s job jumps and temporary love life all give us an interesting and comedic look into his life but his father was his most intense connection.

I obviously can’t write about everything, but those are my favorite things in the movie. It comes in during a personal and very difficult time in my life. I enjoy WKW’s films because they are very romantic and lonely. For me, he doesn’t fear having his characters know and feel isolation while they try and search for a missing piece and that is something powerful. Zhiwu took up a hobby of filming things, especially around his father; he filmed him cooking, yelling at Zhiwu, even of them sleeping together in their room–a silent acknowledgement of their bond. He found his father looking at the tapes. Even though he was exasperated at all of the filming, he enjoyed the imagery of him living on film and with his son. Zhiwu knew that he didn’t need anything else. That he was happy.

There’s a fear I get when watching a lot of movies. I don’t like unhappy endings and I prefer to have things resolved. I want an epilogue and I want people to be content. Life doesn’t work like that and neither do WKW’s films but I feel very full when I am done with them.

i’m about to leave. i ask him to take me home. i haven’t ridden pillion for a long time nor have i been this close to a man in ages. the road home isn’t very long, and i know i’ll be getting off soon. but at this moment, i’m feeling such lovely warmth.
- the killer’s agent

and that’s ok.

fallen angels