january 22, 2016 - mission
I want to make this blog a place to share stories and experiences. It is a place of validation. Sometimes I feel as if I was placed into this situation with no prior warning of how hard it would be. No girl entering into this space has to feel the same ways that I do, but as a pretty radical intersectional feminist, I thought I had all my ducks in order before entering film school - I went to a PWI for undergrad and I’m a 24 year old American in London. But nothing could have prepared me for literally being the only black girl in my cohort in my filmmaking program and one of about 5 or so black people in the school.
Through a series of unfortunate events, I have suffered some microaggressions and some overt racism. It is distracting. I struggle between feeling simultaneously invisible and hyper-visible. For me, art and filmmaking is my way of doing pseudo-activism (I know that a lot of people do not like this term to be used when not out in the field directly, but I digress). I have had conversations about this with my film friends online (one black boy and one asian girl; we call ourselves the #filmclique and we make fun of all the bullshit and leave pretentiousness at the door). We discussed this interview on Cecile Emeke, who I find inspiring and incredible, and I suggest everyone read.
FIlmmaking and art is not some sort of visual highlander. I do not personally see it as a competition. There is not only one story and one perspective to be told. No one is asking you, who stumbled upon this blog, to choose between being a Black Girl Artist or an Artist who happens to be a Black Girl. Personally, though, I think it’s important to be political. I started this blog because I am struggling very hard to be in a space where I am the only one of my kind, where I find that people look at me differently, talk to me differently and treat me differently because of the color of my skin and the set of my curls, the curve of my nose, and the set of my hips (even though my skin is quite the light shade and that is important to note). I want to make political art but I shy away from talking about it directly now. White people are allowed to be loud, while I am not. Non-black people are allowed to be a little bit louder than I am. They’re all even allowed to tell me who I am and what I should strive to be while ignoring my very real Black Girl Feelings. I am terrified sometimes. And yes it has weighed on me, it has added to the things I already struggle with: my pre-existing conditions compounded by the dehumanization I am fighting.
I believe that all people of color in all fields struggle with certain issues such as these. I believe that all women of color know this pain whether consciously or not. I believe that women of color hear the “it’s hard being a woman in the art world” conversation, but their melanin is conveniently forgotten. But I also believe in being specific. Being a black woman is unlike anything else anyone else will have experienced in their lifetime. I believe that being a black woman in the art world requires an unfair amount of strength, and no one has written a handbook on how to deal with it.
Believe it or not, I wanted to created this before the Oscar nominations came out, but I was teetering on the edge of going for it or stepping back. #OscarsSoWhite pushed me to share.
But what is this actually for? Anything. Ask for advice, submit a story on your experience, statistics on being black in your film school, or any work (undergrad or graduate) you have done! If you do sound, DP work, producing, screenwriting, directing, go for it! Anon is on! You are not alone and your work is important. You don’t have to be in school, necessarily. Are you interested in film? Are you interested in film school? What have you watched recently? What have you found helpful on your journey? Hopefully this will expand and grow. Even if you like to critique film or visual media, your perspectives as black girls in this field are incredibly value (and here’s where I link my defunct film blog.)
I’m pretty busy with school but I also created this as an outlet and a safe space for myself because I struggle everyday in my place of learning. This is not just limited to directing (cinematographers, sound editors, editors, etc). I am gearing to graduate in writing-directing (fingers crossed, lord) and am particularly interested in films and music videos (as well as painting, and photography.)
Creating space for black women* is important. We do not want to let white supremacy off the hook for ignoring us and mistreating us. Paving our own way is incredibly hard, but I hope this will create a network where we can find each other and share our work and thoughts, vent our frustrations and excitement, and help each other believe that we belong.
*I am a cisgender woman and this is my experience, so I snagged this url. Non-binary folks can of course contribute, and are welcome to, but since I cannot speak on non-binary experiences I didn’t want to presume. The film world and its encompassing academia is incredibly white, heteronormativ, cisnormative, thin obsessed/fat-shaming, able-bodied centric etc., and I want this space to be an exception to that rule.